Monday, October 10, 2005

Rainy Days and Mondays

Today is not a good day.

I know it is supposed to be, after all, it is a National Holiday, school is closed, so I have a Three Day Weekend, and all of that. But it is raining. It's been raining for, oh, I don't know...40 days and 40 nights? My husband? We'll just call him Noah---he's in the garage building some sort of ark-type contraption.

Seriously. Enough rain already.

My best friend called me last week with the totally wonderful news that she and her husband of just over one year were expecting a baby. Now this is my absolutely bestest, love-her-more-than-my-own-sisters, best friend. She suffers from endometriosis terribly. She battled cervical cancer last year and won. I immediately started knitting a fabulous baby blanket for her, knit with love and prayers for the child's bright and glorious future.

It was such perfectly wonderful news.

Until Friday...when she felt "off", called her ob/gyn, and went to the hospital for an ultrasound to "set her mind at ease" and found out that her precious little one of only 11 and 1/2 weeks had no heartbeat. Now she sits at home, blaming herself, waiting for "nature to take its course", carrying around the lifeless child that she wants more than anything in the entire world.

I have three beautiful boys, I know how much love you have for a little blob of basically nothing much by 11 and 1/2 weeks...she is devastated and so am I.

She's been through e-goddamn-nough!!

Seriously. Enough rain already...

Maybe some knitting update photos later in the day if I can find our camera wherever it is that it is hiding out and bring myself to get off my sobbing, god-questioning ass to go look for it. I fully intend to keep going on her soon as I get some of my shattered faith in the Universe back, that is...


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