Saturday, November 11, 2006

An Open Letter to the Sock Goddess

Dear Sock Goddess,
I am not sure what I did to piss You off, but whatever it was, I beseechingly ask for Your forgiveness.

I have now frogged the fourth incarnation of Amy's birthday socks and have tenuously cast on for the fifth version. It has become increasingly clear to me that the knitting of these socks is, in fact, cursed in some way.

At first, I blamed the pattern. Too complicated for me to follow while I was busy juggling life and job and also knitting. (For the record, I love Grumperina's pattern, and this blaming of the pattern really was more about blaming myself for my inability to follow it).

Then, when that didn't solve the issue, I blamed the yarn. The lovely Lorna's Laces yarn that clearly, is also not to blame. That yarn is such a trooper! It has probably been frogged and re-knit about 8 times so far, and it is holding up like a champ. It certainly is NOT the yarn's fault. This yarn is nothing if not a people pleaser, always willing to try again and not give up.

So...I can't blame the pattern (we are down to a plain ole stockinette sock here folks!), and I cannot blame the yarn, clearly, the yarn is stellar.

Then that only leaves two options for blame placing.

One is me, and I have to say, I am taking this whole curse thing remarkably well and in stride, yadda yadda yadda. I haven't sworn once or anything. (Those who know me in real life realize what that statement is worth. I have a mouth like a sailor on an ordinary day). So, it can't be me.

That leaves You. I must have done something to really upset You and the delicate balance of my sock knitting world, and I have wracked my brain to think of what it might be. It can't be that I didn't wait in the three freakin' hour long line at Rhinebeck for Socks that Rock yarn, can it? Even You must understand the insanity that was that line, don't You? Don't You?! So, besides that, I don't see how I have besmirched Your Greatness in any way. But I must have, there is no other explanation for the struggle that is the knitting of these socks.

Therefore, I come to You on bended knee and beg Your forgiveness for my insult or transgression and I implore you to please, please, make the struggle stop and if it isn't too much extra trouble...could You please make sure that there is no Second Sock Syndrome to deal with on this pair? If it isn't too much trouble that is. (I don't want to overstep myself here). I would greatly appreciate it.

I have left You a little sock yarn sacrifice in my knitting bag. I will humbly await Your intervention on Amy's socks. Thank You.

Your humble sock servant,

PS: The pinched nerve in my left shoulder that is causing my entire left arm to tingle and my ring and pinky fingers on my left hand to go completely numb may have been a bit mean-spirited and low for someone of Your stature and demeanor, don't You think? I'm just sayin'...


Blogger Procrastiknitter said...


That was HYSTERICAL and OH so true! Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one the Sock Goddess has brought her wrath upon and for making me laugh really really hard!

10:47 AM  

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